I met an angel.

Today I received a call from my brother-in-law, telling me that my sister had gave birth to their first child, Teffy. I felt very happy that I was finally an aunt. I told my husband to drive me to the hospital to have the first meeting with my niece.

Upon arrival, I saw a beautiful picture. My brother-in-law was sitting at the edge of the bed, holding his little angel in his arm and my sister was whispering something to Teffy. Their joy and happiness filled up the whole room. As I walked up to them, I saw Teffy, she was so adorable. I requested to carry her and my brother-in-law hand her over to me slowly. The moment she landed on in my arms, I can immediately sense the warmth and joy she brings. Looking deeply into her small face, she resemble an angel. I can feel her so small yet can bring so much happiness to the family.

I didn't want to let go off her, as if I could carry her for the whole day and look at her incredibly cute face without getting tired or bored. Back in my mind, I was thinking, how great it will be if this is my daughter, child of my own.

Good times pass fast, soon, the nurse came into the ward and told us she needs to bring Teffy back for feeding. I hand Teffy to her unwillingly yet carefully.

I pray hard everyday just hoping to get an angel of my own .

A joke god had on me.

I woke up as usual this morning, feeling a little nauseous and lost in appetite. After checking the calendar I was so excited and nervous but I noticed that my menstruation was late for more than a week! My first thought was: 

AM I GOING TO BE A MOTHER VERY SOON???

Many images of babies flash across my mind, I was so elated. But I had to calm myself down and had my urine tested before I can rush into any conclusion. I took out my pregnancy test kit and went to had my urine tested. After waiting for a few minutes, I was so nervous yet eager to see the result. 

Unfortunately, the result turned out this way:

I was utterly disappointed. Why? Why? Why?

Why is it so hard to conceive? Why is it so hard when we already tried so hard?

Is this a joke god had on me?????

When will it be my turn?

Children? Are they angel or devil?

Well to me, I think they are angels in every family.

Every time I see children running out from childcare centre, giving their parents a warm hug and set off as a family, I will be so envious. How blissful life will be to have children in the family. Children are the parents' source of joy. Their innocence face, curiosity and irresistible cuteness just brighten up every parent day. But children don't come easily, especially when you want it badly. 

Being married for more than a year, my husband and I are still trying very hard for a baby. We both love kids and always wanted to have one of our own. After trying many different methods, their is no sign of pregnancy. Doctor said we are both healthy and fine, but I still do not understand why having a child is so hard. 

Or maybe its just not the time yet...